Are you the target of gossip, the gossiper or the one who has to listen to everyone's gossip?
By Cheryl Hightower Marchio

Generally we will notice when we are being gossiped about BEFORE we notice that we may be doing some gossiping ourselves. When we hear gossip about ourselves it hurts. Even though we will often say “I don't care what others think of me”, there is a certain shock that goes through our bodies when we discover that someone is saying less than flattering things about us.

Gossip in the workplace can challenge even the strongest person. We spend so much time with our co-workers that when we can remedy the on going discomforts, we have an opportunity to enjoy the place where we spend so much of our time.

Let us first clarify what defines gossip. Wikipedia says that it is idle talk or rumor. “Rumor” is an unverified account or explanation of events circulating from person to person. It has been said that “rumor “ lacks a particular definition in the social sciences and is not quickly or ever confirmed. I think we could all agree that anything that falls under the following three categories can be considered gossip

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1) Is it untrue? Truth is a relative term since we all see things from our own perspective. So it is NOT gossip if we heard the “thing” from the person themselves and they gave us permission to share. Period. If we hear it from someone who heard it from someone and so on...it can become distorted just like the game “operator” we played as kids. You sit in a circle and the first person whispers something into the second person's ear, then the second person whispers something into the third person's ear and so on. The goal is to see if the initial words that were spoken are the same by the time the circle is complete. In my experience, it rarely happens. Do you have the subject's “truth” and their permission to share? Bottom line.

2) Is it unkind? We, as human beings, sometimes forget to treat others with the same kindness that we would like to be shown. When we speak unkind words about someone to someone else, it will probably get back to them. That's a “double hurt”. Not only have we spoken negatively about that person, but we have also invited others to share in that feeling of negativity. So if what you are saying to someone about another person is NOT something you would like to hear about yourself if the tables were turned, it is probably unkind.

3) Is it NOT being said to the person that is being discussed? This one is challenging for many people. It can be very scary to address an issue you are having with someone. Especially in the workplace. It may turn into a discussion with everyone EXCEPT for the person with whom you have a conflict to resolve. That can turn into an even bigger issue because it will probably end up getting back to that person anyway. By the time that happens there will be more to resolve than just the original issue at hand.   If you have been speaking about this person in an undesirable manner and they have heard about any ANY of it, more drama has been created. Now there is more to discuss when the conversation finally takes place. On the other hand, if the conversation never takes place, additional drama only creates a more uncomfortable environment.

Why do we gossip?

• We are afraid to face the person or subject where the issue lies. • We are unaware that we are doing so because it is so easily slipped into normal, everyday conversation. • We believe a little venting will make us feel better. (which can be true if you are venting from a solution oriented standpoint with a solution oriented person while keeping it truthful and kind). • We are trying to make ourselves “look better” or get a little attention by making someone else wrong.

Letting go...

Watch It Bring A FREE Car Right 
To The Front Door! By Cheryl Hightower Marchio

How do you feel when you think about where you are in your life right now?  Do you ever feel like you want more of something?  More quality relationships, better health or more money?  Do you ever think 'How do I get more of what I want?"  Or even  "Do I even know how to define what I want?" 

It is human nature to want more, to be better.  Some of us have very clearly stated goals and a plan in which they will be implemented.  Some of us don't.  For many of us, these desires are simply wishes that we've started to feel may never come true.  We have hopes and dreams but not a plan. 

Although we are all at varying places in our lives, we all have similar desires.  We want someone to love, we want to feel a purpose in life and we want to be able to take care of our financial needs.  The perceived successes of each individual, however, will vary greatly.  Remembering that each journey is a very personal experience, there can be many different definitions of success.  We will use money as an example.

Person #1  may feel it has been a very successful month because the bills are paid and there is food in the fridge.

Person #2  may feel success because they've saved enough money for a vacation or home repairs.

Person #3  may feel success because a credit card has been paid off.

Person #4  may feel success because they were able to keep their heat turned on.

Person #5  may feel success because they've earned their first million.

The list could go on and on.  There could be as many reasons as there are people. 

The question is "How do I get more of what I want?"

No matter where you are in your life right now, you can begin to bring in more of what you want.  The tricky part is this... you first have to accept your current situation.  I don't mean that you have to accept it as your fate.  I mean that you have to say, this is where I am now and I begin from here.  When you accept that you are where you are, you have let go of resistance and change can happen. 

Resistance will keep you from attracting the things that you desire into your life.  I am going to give you an excellent example of how letting go of resistance brings more abundance into your life.  I also want you to understand that abundance comes in many forms and can pertain to any aspect of your life. (ex. health, relationships, money, etc.)

First, a quick description of the Law Of Attraction.  It means like attracts like.  What you most think and feel about will continue to show up in your life. If you are happy, more things to make you happy will enter your life.  If you are perpetually in a state of resistance, more things to resist will be drawn to you.  Ain't nobody got time for that!

A few years ago I was living by myself and having a bit of a time keeping my head above water financially.  My car payment was very late and I was dangerously close to repossession.  I knew I couldn't make the necessary payments needed to keep it.  I was very upset it had come to this.  I was holding on so tightly to the idea of needing this car that it would make me physically ill just thinking of losing it.  I had so much resistance towards living without a car.  

Then a miracle happened.  I experienced the power of letting go.  I accepted where and I was.  I knew that was the place in which I needed to begin. A calm came over me. I knew exactly what to do.  I would voluntarily turn In my car.  I lived close to town, had a bicycle and love to exercise!  There was even a bike trail that led straight to my place of work!  Being in Michigan, I knew how fortunate I was that it was summertime and I would have an alternate solution by the time the weather turned.  Problem solved!  I instantly felt relief and knew that better days were on my horizon.  The moment I made my decision to let go I felt lighter.  I knew I could now more easily attract better feeling things into my life because I wasn't consumed with worry. 

Three days later I turned in my car and began to ride my bike.  I really enjoyed throwing on a back pack and going grocery shopping.  I would arrive at work in a cheerful mood due to all the endorphins running through my body from the exercise!  One day I even rode to work in the pouring rain and had a smile on my face and feeling more at peace than I had ever remembered feeling!  I even found myself turning down the many generous offers to give me a ride.  I was really just happy all the time.

Four weeks into my new lifestyle I was watching a home improvement show.  I remember feeling overwhelmed with joy as I observed the giving and generosity that was taking place.  I cried as I watched a family very much in need be given a new home.  I was thinking about how much good is in the world and how giving people are and felt completely consumed by absolute goodness.

Then...

There was a knock on my door. It was my  neighbor.  She told me that she and her husband have been watching me ride my bike everyday (they knew about my car) and wanted to help.  They had just purchased a new car and wanted to GIVE me their old car!  I almost couldn't believe my ears... but why WOULDN'T I believe my ears!?!  I, only seconds earlier, was proclaiming the generosity and willingness of others to help!

This was a perfect example of the Law Of Attraction working at it's best.  I had a full months accumulation of good feeling thoughts and a profound belief that people are good and helpful!  So that became my reality.