I first heard about these guys on either Buzzwire or the Village Voice. The story I got was that they were booed off stage somewhere in Brooklyn. Maybe the audience was too serious about their rock music. Maybe they were offended with the content. Lou Reed was from Brooklyn, New York and is regarded as a kind of pop culture relic. Originally the idea of a Velvet Underground cover band by MacCaulay Culkin made me outraged. Then I find out that the cover band is based on a series of pizza songs and then I was livid. Now my inner self starts talking and it tells me to relax and to just go with it. I listened to the songs on Youtube and you know what happened next? I ended up liking it.

When I found out that this band tours somewhat rarely it is clear that this whole act is a novelty. If I caught them at Riot Fest I would be one of the few in the entire country that actually saw them. I would be right up there with the rock journalists and other media people. Now I never saw the original Velvet Underground but I could certainly make this performance. I would have serious bragging rights among the Alternative universe. As crazy as it all sound I began to get excited about this experience.

So there I was early Saturday morning standing in line waiting to get in for day two. I was going to grab a brew on the way up to the Riot Stage and park right along side the other fans in the mud. They played for exactly 30 minutes. We got to hear Mac and the other kids sing, “Papa John Says”, “Pizza” (a take off of Sweet Jane), “I’m Beginning to Eat The Slice”, and “Take A Bite of the Wild Slice”. They had a Nico character who was doing a German accent and she was banging on an empty pizza box with a wooden spoon, (like a tambourine).

I laughed at the lines in, “Pizza” – (Sweet Jane) when Mac goes, “Me I’m in a Pizza Band….”. They would all do that high pitched yodel / yell  on the chorus, “….pizzaaaaaaaa.. “ and the audience lapped it up. There wasn’t one disgruntled face in the audience from my point of view. Everyone was getting the joke. These weren’t complete songs. The Velvet Underground song parodies were strung along in a medly.

I liked the tour shirts. There was one in particular with a giant yellow anchovy fish on it, (instead of the banana) that I absolutely adored. It picks up on the Warhol accents in the original album cover, “The Velvet Undergound with Nico”. Now towards the end of the set Mac hinted on some new parodies based on Billy Joel which was met with acceptance and laughter. This was a fun set – remember? It’s light  hearted entertainment and these guys were good at it.

I read this review of Macaulay Culkin and it was in reference to his stalled career and drug problems and how sad his life was. The guy I saw that morning was up on stage rocking out and having the time of this life. Later he was seen leading a group of fans through the Zombie haunted house and they were having a blast. I take great comfort in that. Mac still has the limelight and he still has fans and anyone who thinks otherwise needs to lighten up

… and have a slice.

THE BUZZCOCKS

This is when the mud started to get out of control. People continued to walk through the muddy fields. In some ways they stomped the moisture out of the ground and for most of the morning I thought it would hold up. But by the time The Buzzcocks came out on stage the mud was unbearable as more people came out in droves adding more footprints and mixing up the sod and soil into a clay like goopy paste. It was strong enough to suck your shoes off. Plus now people were dropping beer all over. The sun came out and the fields became a medieval setting for guts and glory. The planets were all in alignment and it was time for the classic UK punk rock band – the BUZZCOCKS.

The show must go on. The time now was – 2:20PM and I could hear them rip into, “I Don’t Mind”. Guitarist Steve Diggle came out in his famous white jump suit and was doing his jumps and splits while revving up the crowd. I could hear Pete Shelleys signature whines and howls and harmonies. Muddy conditions, lost shoes and spilled beer aside these guys were cranking out an unbelievable set. I didn’t get front row this time because I didn’t want to lose my shoes. This is a word to all future Riot Festers make sure you that you wear some 9 hole footwear. You need some kind of boots, Docs, engineer foot gear or hiking boots --- hell even snow shoes – just to combat all of that freaking mud.

“What Do I Get?” Pete Shelley sang – and you could see that the weather was cooperating. It was a glorious day. I noticed that my phone kept popping in and out of reception. Connecting with my friends was somewhat of a challenge. The other problem I had out there was that there were not phone charging stations anywhere. The people who ran the fair didn’t seemed to concerned about it. I was though…..

Here’s the setlist

1.       I Don’t Mind

2.       Autonomy

3.       Why She’s A Girl From The Chainstore

4.       Sick City Sometimes

5.       Promises

6.       Love You More

7.       What Do I Get?

8.       Harmony In My Head

9.       Ever Fallen In Love?

10.   Orgasm Addict

  When I heard, “Autonomy” I was well into the drink my son. I knew by the driving beat of this crowd pleaser that the Buzzcocks weren’t going to take a break on any of us. This was going to be a hard rocking set filled with passion, classic hooks, rallying cries, and an all out assault. From my position you had two basic choices. Try to hold your ground and step aside. The people in the front rows were not budging and I knew that this was about as close as I was going to get.